REFLECTIONS: The Great Expectation

Honesty, despite great difficulty, can often bring about clarity. 

The clarity of the movie that is our lives.

Upon an honest reflection of my relationships, I realised that everything was based on some kind of an expectation. A great one, usually. 

A need, A greed, a want, some fulfilment or the other.

And being let down, hurt.

A lot. 

I think it starts when we’re babies. 

We would scream our lungs out for attention. 

And we expect a lot from our parents too. 

Not fulfilling our demands is falsely equated with bad parenting.

Then we move to our spouses, and we pretty much do the same thing.

And then our kids. 

And the cycle repeats itself.

That evening, when I was sipping my Darjeeling tea, I questioned my relationships. 

In my marriage, I wanted him to understand me without having to tell him. 

After all, ours was a love marriage. 

What was I expecting really? 

I realised, relationship is like business. 

As long as it serves our expectations we’re fine. The minute it doesn’t happen, our so called love goes out of the window.

Look around at every relationship we have: with our Friends, bosses, siblings. We’re always looking for security.

And insecurity can never be the bedrock of a secure relationship.

In fact, it’s this fear that holds you captive in a relationship. The fear of losing someone, the fear of being alone, the fear of the unfamiliar. 

But real love is when you don’t ask for anything in return. 

I learnt over the years, love cannot live in fear. 

So where is love?

Well, true love is all around us. 

The relationship we have with the Sun, the Rain, the trees… 

They give us joy forever. And ask for nothing in return, really.

Love should feel like freedom. 

Otherwise, let’s not call it love. 

From what I understand, love should be free. 

Where was I looking all these years?

Why did I need someone else to complete me?

True love should help you grow. 

Grow into the person you want to be. 

Grow into the person you were always meant to be. 

The Great Expectation is only with yourself and your Divinity. 

So feel loved, feel secured, feel happy and keep growing.