Taking Charge

What is happening in my life is perhaps not uncommon, but what we are feeling or how we are reading this whole thing is perhaps different to each of us. We love outsourcing ourselves, and that too so easily. At least in my generation.

When we are kids, our parents decide our subjects, our careers and sometimes even our marriage etc.

They become our guide and anchors, almost purely on the basis of their experience and age.

Most of our lives we have felt great, lighter even, when we blame someone else for what is happening in our lives. All our tough times, hateful times, broken times, we blame it on someone else. We don’t even spare our own DIVINE!

So that evening me and my Soul Mate – my Darjeeling Tea, we were remembering how I had outsourced my Happiness and Joy. In both, my personal and professional life.

At home with my family, I was always trying to make as many people happy because that’s where my happiness used to lie. So I would stretch my limits and adjust myself to their expectations. Whether I came home after a long flight or a late night from work, if they would like to go out I would never say no.

Things weren’t too different at work either.This ‘yes man’ strategy I had used had stretched me thing. Worse, it gave me the occasional stress-induced migraine attacks. I was looking at everlasting happiness or joy that cannot be destroyed!

What was I thinking?

The thought that evening was if I did not take any responsibility for the stress or unhappiness or lack of love or understanding or lack of wealth etc, then I must not take credit for all that I got in life too… .

We as human beings feel light when we are not blaming ourselves for anything. It is very therapeutic to outsource our feelings … but all we’re doing, as a result, is protecting ourselves. 

It reminds me of a story about a gambler who buys the lottery every month and one day when he wins, his happiness is very momentary. Eventually, he is miserable and goes back to playing blame games with his life, destiny and birth etc.

Once I realised this, my next step was to forgive all those people whom I blamed. Those that I made non-important in my path of happiness. I tried to shift once again from a “Prosperity of Lack “ to a “Prosperity of Enough”. 

The enough-ness is the key lesson here. 

I learnt that my happiness or joy does not or should not be in relation to others. 

Making myself responsible, accountable for everything was my new game.That’s how one learns to love themselves. 

In all this I learnt to say no, when I needed to. 

Nowadays, I blame a lot less. And I love a lot more. 

When I connected with my inner voice, I became joyful.

When I surrendered my thoughts to my Divine, I started seeing the wheel of sunshine move towards me. 

I don’t just look at the frame anymore I see the whole picture.

If my frequency was a radio-station, it would easily be my favorite. 

Now, I’m taking charge of my joys. My happiness. And my love in life.